Waiting On God?
When I acquired the single woman status, it was hard at first. After a while, though, I got used to being by myself. I really enjoyed the freedom. I was able to do what I wanted when I wanted to do it.
If I didn’t want to cook, it was no big deal. If I didn’t feel like tidying up the house, I left it until I was in the mood. I didn’t have anyone telling me what to do. It was wonderful.
One of the things I enjoyed most was bedtime. It was great having the bed all to myself. I wasn’t restricted to sleeping on ‘my side.’ The freedom was fantastic. I had a choice of sleeping on the left side, in the middle, on the right side or across the bed. Plus, I didn’t have to play tug of war for the duvet.
I took a bar of my favourite chocolate to bed with me most nights. It was a delight eating without worrying about chocolate crumbs dropping on the sheets.
Some nights I curled up under the duvet with a book or magazine. I read until I fell asleep. Other times I chatted to friends for hours on the phone until late into the night.
Where’s my man?
Anyway, I obviously thought that after a few months I would meet a man. I didn’t foresee one year of single life turning into two, then three, until they added up to a whopping five years. The novelty of having the bed to myself sadly wore off and got boring.
I prayed constantly to God asking him to help me meet my husband. The years rolled by. It seemed that He wasn’t hearing me, or maybe He was teaching me a lesson about patience.
I resorted to recurrent daydreams about sharing my life with my Mr Right.
My friends advice
Some of my girlfriends were a little concerned about me. They questioned my integrity and asked impatiently. “Don’t you get lonely? If you really want a man, you could actually find one. How are you going to meet one anyway when you don’t go out? The only place you go to is your church and work. Why don’t you go to night clubs or parties sometimes?”
On the other hand, my male friends tried to tempt me. They played on my vulnerability. They reckoned that all work, non-stop church going and no play, equals a dull life. They stressed that they wanted to make me feel good. No strings attached.
“Surely God wants you to be happy. After all, you’re not hurting anyone or doing anything wrong, are you?” They also questioned my integrity. I got the impression that they thought I was some sort of saint.
Other friends said, “Life is too short. You might as well enjoy yourself. Having fun and satisfying your needs surely is better than being lonely and not having sex? Don’t you get fed up of going to an empty bed night after night?” They wanted me to be happy, but at what price? Does sexual fulfilment bring true happiness?
What should I do?
The big question was who should I listen to and which way should I choose to go? Men who were out for pleasures that gave instant satisfaction, or doing what I believed to be right?
If I chose impatiently or carelessly, there would be consequences.
There’s no point in fooling myself into thinking that maybe just one or two nights of sexual pleasure wouldn’t matter. Or maybe cuddling a man in my bed would be alright. Anyway, I don’t know any man who would be happy to settle for just a cuddle in bed. Wouldn’t that be tempting them and me?
There’s absolutely no point in putting myself in temptation’s way. The price to pay would be too high. Apart from the fact that I would be going against my belief, I’m not ready to lower my values.
Love, patience and waiting on God
I do want love and affection in my life, like any other woman. I’ve asked God to help me meet the right man for me. I think it’s only right that I should wait patiently on Him. After all, He did say, “Ask and you will receive.”
My life is not without love anyway, because God loves me unconditionally. I’ve also got friends and family who love me.
It might seem that it’s taking a long time to meet him. But ‘patience is a virtue,’ as my gran used to say. I think I have mastered that lesson. Anyway, I will keep on waiting on God. When the time is right, my Mr Right will come into my life. Watch this space….
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Photo Credit: Evgeni Dinev
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