The Most Dangerous Lies Are The Ones You Tell Yourself
One of the most dangerous lies you tell yourself is that you can’t. Can’t is a negative word. If you believe or tell yourself you can’t do something, then you won’t be able to do it.
Lying to yourself gives you a false sense of security. The danger is, you will believe that you are who you are not. On the other hand, you can deceive yourself into thinking that you’re beneath your self-worth, and therefore, rubbish yourself.
It’s dangerous to lie to yourself because you place limitations on yourself. On the other hand, you paint a false picture of who you really are. When you constantly lie to yourself, it eventually becomes a reality in your mind.
Do you know the most dangerous lie I told myself? That lie was I couldn’t be a teacher. For many years, that lie stopped me from pursuing a career that I thought was beyond me. I’ve always been shy. I couldn’t imagine myself standing in front of a class teaching. So, instead of trying to achieve this goal, I lied to myself. That lie cost me many years of doing something I now enjoy.
“We tell lies when we are afraid….afraid of what we don’t know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us. But every time we tell a lie, the thing that we fear grows stronger.” ~ Tad Williams.
- Do your lies make you claim to be someone you’re not?
A poor man met a beautiful lady. She was a solicitor, lived in a posh area, drove a Mercedes-Benz and was rich. They both liked each other. He wanted to impress her because he didn’t want to lose her. So, he pretended he was rich.
He borrowed money to take her to the best restaurants. And bought her expensive gifts. He told her that he was the manager at the supermarket where he worked. He didn’t want her to see him driving his battered, old Nissan Micra car. So he borrowed his friend’s BMW Coupe to take her out on dates. He lived in a flat on a run-down council estate. Whenever she asked to go to his place, he gave her excuses.
Despite his lies and pretence, the relationship developed nicely.
One day she was driving through his area after meeting a client. She spotted him in his Micra. He didn’t see her. Surprised at seeing him driving that car, she decided to follow him to his flat. He got the shock of his life when she knocked on his door. He had no choice but to tell her the truth.
The foundation of their relationship was based on lies. Therefore, it ended. He killed the trust she had in him.
“The worst lies are the lies we tell ourselves. We live in denial of what we do, even what we think. We do this because we’re afraid. We fear we will not find love, and when we find it we fear we’ll lose it. We fear that if we do not have love we will be unhappy.” ~ Richard Bach.
- Do you tell yourself you’re inferior to others?
Insecurities can make you lie to yourself. That insecurity probably started when you were a child. Maybe you were constantly told that you’re stupid by your mother or father. They faulted everything you did. So, as you grew up, you fed yourself that same lie.
At school, you believed everyone was better than you. Even though, you were the brightest one in your class. That lie embedded itself deep in your mind. It became a part of who you are, or so you thought.
The danger is that throughout your life, you will feel you’re inferior to everyone around you. Therefore, you don’t value yourself. You see yourself far below the real you.
“This above all; to thine own self be true.” ~ William Shakespeare.
- Freedom from lies is knowing who you really are
“Our lives improve only when we take chances ~ and the first and most difficult risk we can take is to be Honest with ourselves. “ ~ Walter Anderson
Knowing and accepting who you are is the key to stopping lying to yourself. Identify why you need to lie to yourself. When you accept that you have a problem, you can start working towards solving it. The first step is to accept that you are a liar.
This is a great quote: “If you do not tell the Truth about yourself you cannot tell it about other people.” ~Virginia Woolfe
There’s no need to lie about who you are. If people can’t or don’t accept you, then they don’t value the real you. Lies, whether they’re for yourself or from others can cost you dearly. Be honest with yourself so you can be honest with others. And be the person who you really are.
Photo credit: Naypong
Over to you…
Do you tell yourself lies? Why do you think you need to lie to yourself?
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