OK! I know a lot’s been said on the subject about common mistakes single ladies make. Anyway, I wanted to add my voice too. This article is to enlighten those of you who need a reminder, or some advice from someone who’s been there.
Some of us single ladies repeat the same mistakes over and over again. Well, it’s time to stop! Otherwise serial mistakes could cost you your new relationship, or even stop it from moving forward. If I can help you avoid making decisions that will cause you heartache, that will make me a happy woman. After all, us singles ladies should support each other.
- Don’t let romance cloud your judgement
If you let your heart rule your head, you won’t be able to think or see clearly. Falling in love before you get to know him is risky. If your head is in the clouds, how can you see what’s happening around you? At the beginning of a relationship, you need to have clarity of mind. Start off by being friends. A strong friendship will lay the foundation for a solid relationship. Plus, it’s easy for friends to open up to each other. Spend time talking to get to know each other properly. Are you compatible? It’s no good falling in love with someone only to find out a year later, that you don’t have much in common. It’s easy to fall in love. But you need more than intense, passionate affections for a lasting relationship.
- Don’t ignore friends and family because you’ve got a new man
It’s natural to want to spend 24/7 with your new man. He takes over your whole world. Nobody else is important to you anymore. When you find time to talk to your friends and family, he is always the topic of conversations. Then after a few weeks nobody, except him, see you or even hear from you.
You can get so engrossed with him, you forget they were there before he came along. You could push away the people closest to you without even realising you’re doing it. Instead of building a hedge around the two of you, hear what they think about him. They will be more subjective than you.
In one of my previous relationships, I was totally wrapped up in my new man. I couldn’t see any of his faults. I thought he was the best thing to happen to me. Friends warned me about him. Did I listen? No! It turned out that everything they said was true. If only I had listened, instead of thinking they were jealous or interfering. Their advice could have saved me many heartaches later in the relationship.
- Don’t try to change him
None of us are perfect. But when you first meet someone, you act like you’re perfect. You’re both on your best behaviour. After a while however, imperfections start to show. And you don’t like to see his. So, you try to change him. You can’t change another person.
And anyway, it’s not just him that’s showing his true colours. What about you? Don’t get all moody and miserable. You might drive him into the arms of another single lady. There are plenty out there. She will accept him just as he is. If you want your man to act like a king, treat him like a king. In return, he’ll treat you like a queen. What you sow is what you’ll reap.
- Don’t mistake a physical relationship for love
Getting physical too soon in the will definitely make you feel close to him. That doesn’t mean you’re right for each other. The sensual part of your relationship could easily become your focus. It’s not hard to confuse lust for love. It’s easy to feel like you’re in love when lust is in control.
Some men only say, “I love you,’ in the heat of passion. Those are lust words, not love words. Having a physical relationship, doesn’t mean you love him or he loves you. Be careful that lust is not all you have in common. When the heat dies down, one of you might decide to move on.
- Don’t give him sex too easily
If you make yourself easily available for sex, he will take what’s on offer. But know that what he gets easily, he can also leave easily. A single lady met a man at a party. She took him home. When it was time to sleep, he climbed into her bed. He didn’t go there to keep her warm. He wanted sex.
She pretended that she was on her periods. So, he left her alone. The next morning he told her that if she had given him sex, he would have lost respect for her. He also added that he wouldn’t have wanted a relationship with her after that. Why? Because he was testing her to see if she was cheap.
Sex is readily available from lots of other single ladies. Show him that you’re different.Value and respect yourself. Giving him sex doesn’t mean he will stay with you. If he truly wants you, he will wait. What a man fights to get, he will fight to keep. As they say, ‘easy come, easy go.’
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