Inspiration and Encouragement for Strength and Happiness

I was a Victim of Abuse for a Reason

I was a Victim of Abuse for a Reason

By in Abuse, Relationships, Woman's Challenges | 8 comments

I am thankful for everything I go through. I suffered abuse during most of my relationships. I went through physical and emotional pain. My heart was broken many times. I didn’t understand why I ended up with abusers. But, years later (after I became single) it made sense. Everything you go through in life is for a reason. I strongly believe that.

That is why I give thanks for my toxic relationship experiences. If I didn’t go through it, I wouldn’t have a story to share with you.

On top of that, God healed my brokenness 100% and restored my life.

 

My Abuse story

My journey into abuse started with my first love. He was also a serial cheater (addicted to other women).

One night at a party his dark side surfaced. His jealousy peaked because I danced with a male friend. After the party ended, we were alone in the room at my friend’s house. He came up to me angrily, grabbed hold of my neck and squeezed hard. While he was squeezing the life out of me he yelled, “If I can’t have you, no one else will.” Thank God, my friend was nearby. She saved my life.

He was the type of man who did what he wanted, regardless of how I felt. He expected me to accept him being unfaithful. His ritual was to date other women, one after the other. And so, we had endless arguments and fights. 

 

Writing poems helped with the frustration

My escape from the mental torture was writing poems. It was my healing therapy and the best outlet for me. I would have gone mad if I bottled up the frustration and hurt inside. I had to find a way to release it.

Over the years, I wrote many poems. Every time the tears poured and my heart was crushed, I created a poem.

I am in the process of putting my poems in a book titled ‘Deep Within My Soul‘. The book also includes a little about my journey and how the abuse affected me.  

 

The future of this blog and how I want to help you

This month is my blog’s birthday. Miraculous Ladies  is four years old.

I’ve been feeling restless about the future of Miraculous Ladies. After a lot of thinking, praying and more thinking it dawned on me. I created this blog to inspire, motivate, educate and entertain. I want to use it to add value to your life.

One way of doing that is to share my story. That’s only the start. I intend to write articles to help with your personal development. I know when you’ve left an abusive partner it also leaves you damaged…  

  • Your self-confidence hits rock bottom.
  • You doubt your abilities.
  • You feel like rubbish, sometimes.
  • You feel depressed.
  • You feel embarrassed.
  • You feel humiliated.
  • You blame yourself. Although I will put my hand up and admit in my case I was to blame at times. I defended myself. Nevertheless, it’s not acceptable for a man to lash out and hit you. Nor is it right for them to cheat on you.

There is a good quality of life on the other side of abuse.
Abuse is a massive subject and I don’t have all the answers. Nor am I trained or have any professional knowledge in this area. But I do have experience because I lived with it for many, many years.

Added to that, I’m here to inspire and encourage you to be strong, powerful and appreciate your inner and outer beauty. It will start with my new book which will have useful resources such as organisations and books to help you recover your life. You are valuable. You are precious. You are worth more than you’ve settled for. You deserve real love and appreciation. But, the best and most important love comes from you, for yourself.

 

“Don’t forget to love yourself.” ~ Soren Kierkegaard

 

I need your help

I would also like to share your story on this blog if you’ve been a victim of abuse in your relationship. It will motivate other women

Many women are suffering in silence for lots of different reasons. If you have children, it’s harder to walk out of a marriage or relationship. I was in that place once. However, I had to make a bold decision one day because of my sanity. In addition, it wasn’t healthy for my children to see fights and listen to endless arguments. One of my daughters started smoking because of the stress of living in that environment. She was only 12. I had to leave for their sake.

At times, it felt like I had been to hell and back. I’m sharing my story about abuse because it could inspire someone else not to give up.

Over to you…

Have you run away from an abusive relationship? Would you share your story on this blog? Please leave your thoughts in the comments box below. 🙂

 

 

 

June

About June

June Whittle is the founder of Miraculous Ladies, an author, freelance copywriter and professional blogger for hire. She works with small businesses, bloggers and individuals. She is also an author of a self-help and autobiography book “Deep Within my Soul: Hope after abuse”. Miraculous means extraordinary and Lady is a polite or formal way of referring to an amazing woman. That's you. You're a beautiful, strong, incredible, dynamic and powerful woman. Live your dreams. "If you can dream it, you can do it." ~ Walt Disney

    8 Comments

  1. Wow Junie,

    Congratulations on taking this big bold step! Sure I want to share my DA story on this blog! I have shared some on mine and other forums! Indeed the first chapter of my next memoir is titled Finding Strength Amidst Domestic Abuse. I can’t see the survey to take from my phone, but will check once on a PC. May your faith above all, guide you in your next steps. Stay Blessed and Graced. Love, Mm
    Marie Abanga recently posted..Publishing SoonMy Profile

    Marie Abanga Marie Abanga

    23/04/2015

    • Hi Marie,

      This is a big decision. But I gave it a lot of thought. I know that it means baring my soul by telling my story. But, it has to be done. For every slap I took, it was for this moment. We go through life and so many different stuff/nasty experiences happen to us. But I honestly believe, all that stuff is for us to learn from so we can empower others who may be going through the same thing. Otherwise, how will we grow? And how will we help others?

      I didn’t know you were writing about the domestic abuse you suffered. Well done. I would love to share your story on Miraculous Ladies Marie. It’s needed. I know that some women are afraid or embarrassed to speak up, but reading our stories might give them the strength they need to carry on.

      Thank you for your support Marie. My faith is what keeps me strong and gives me a reason to help other women.

      If you have any problems seeing the survey, I’ll email it to you. Please let me know.

      Have a blessed day my dear. 🙂

      June June

      23/04/2015

  2. Hi June, Thank you so much for sharing your past pain. It’s seems that you have found the true purpose of Miraculous Ladies. I too, have been through physical and mental violence at the hands of my own father. Plus other male members of the family have emotionally blackmailed me. I kept paying, paying and paying some more until I had the courage to make the change. I have become a master in self-help courses, therapies and seeking out the truth and healing through reading great books. Here a few I wish to share with you and other Miraculous Ladies: You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay, Detox Your Heart by Valerie Mason-John and Why Women Love to Much – Robin Norwood. I hope this will help other women too.
    CloverJeanSings4U recently posted..Conduct Your Own Personalized Wedding or Commitment CeremonyMy Profile

    CloverJeanSings4U

    23/04/2015

    • Hi Clover,

      You’re welcome and thanks for sharing a little about the abuse you suffered. It’s heart breaking when your own father who is supposed to love and protect you, abuse you instead. That’s quite emotionally damaging.

      It’s encouraging to hear how you took steps to start the healing process. I know that memories will always be there, but when you seek help, it starts the ball rolling towards improvements. And it makes a difference to the quality of your life.

      Thank you for the books you recommended. I hope they will help someone else who is crying out for help right now.

      I really appreciate your encouraging words Clover. Have a lovely day. 🙂

      June June

      23/04/2015

  3. Hi June,

    I’m also a strong believer that everything happens for a reason. Even if it doesn’t make sense at the moment, later it will.

    Wow, I can’t believe that happen. But’s is great that you made it out stronger.

    I love the title of your book, it’s so intriguing.

    I’m glad that your post enlightens people on the many forms of abuse. Most people tend to only think of the physical and sexual.

    I think you’re moving in the right direction. This is something you’re passionate about and it’s important to you. And the title of your blog already fits, as it takes a miraculuos lady to come out of such an experience.

    ~Lea
    Lea Bullen recently posted..How to Reach Your Potential Despite Your LimitationsMy Profile

    Lea Bullen

    23/04/2015

    • Hi Lea,

      I agree with what you said and I’ve proved it in my own life. There were times when I wanted certain things really badly, but they didn’t go the way I planned. However, when I look back, I thank God that those things didn’t work out, because they would have messed up my life.

      Also, we go through a lot of stuff for a reason. I think we are supposed to learn from them. They’re life lessons to shape us, give us wisdom, understanding or something else. I also think we should share our experiences (good or bad) to help other people who are going through the same stuff.

      What I shared in my blog post is only a small part of my story. There is so much more.

      The title of my book explains the reason why I wrote the poems. It was the pain of love from deep within my soul.

      Abuse is a broad subject with many categories. I want to cover as much of it as possible.

      It’s ironic that I chose Miraculous Ladies as the name for my blog. At that time I wasn’t even thinking about addressing domestic violence. But, it’s a fitting title, like you said. I do feel it takes a miraculous lady to come out of domestic violence, stronger than the woman she was, when she entered the abusive relationship.

      Thanks for sharing your thoughts Lea. 🙂

      June June

      26/04/2015

  4. Hi June
    Thanks for sharing your story with us.It took a lot of courage to share these kind of things with society and i must say you are very strong.I personally think that supporting domestic violence and not try to stop it is one of the crime. Because nobody can stop it until we don’t raise our voice on the things happening with us. First step should be taken by us only then other can help.
    Alice Guant recently posted..New ImageMy Profile

    Alice Guant

    08/08/2016

    • You’re welcome, Alice. I had to share my story because I believe our experiences good or bad, are meant to help others. When we do that it makes the pain we suffered worthwhile. And if my story can help even one woman, it’s worth it.

      You’re right by saying we need to take the first step. When we do, we’re admitting we want to change the situation we find ourselves in. Then we look for ways to help us move forward.

      I appreciate you leaving a comment. I’m going to stop by your blog as well.

      Thank you. 🙂

      June June

      10/08/2016

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