How to be a Strong Woman at Work
Has your boss ever made you cry? Do they knock your confidence so hard that you feel worthless? Let’s face facts. It’s tough being a strong woman at work when your manager or supervisor trample on your self-confidence. They take, take and take some more. They sap your energy like a vampire draining blood.
You’re broken, sick and tired, discouraged, depressed and unappreciated. On top of that, you work long hours, give over and above your time but never get a thank you.
You’re well overdue for a pay rise. Still, each year goes by and your wages stay frozen. You’re nothing but a glorified slave slogging away at a job. You’re too scared to leave because your confidence has dropped to the pit. Furthermore, you think no other employer would give you a job.
But, guess what?
- You DO NOT have to allow someone else to control your life.
- You DO NOT have to allow fear to keep you captive in a job that imprisons your well-being.
- You DO NOT have to allow self-doubt to keep you trapped in a cycle of non-progression.
- You DO NOT have to put up with a bully boss and get high blood pressure because you feel obliged to stay in an unhealthy working environment.
I felt compelled to write this post after a conversation I had with someone today. She’s had stress related health issues for months. Her blood pressure is high. She’s been in a job for more than seven years and has never had a pay rise. She works long hours well into the night sometimes. She lost her place as deputy manager because of lack of qualifications. She is constantly being criticised and made to feel worthless. She never gets praised. Instead, her faults are always highlighted.
Why would a woman put up with a boss like that? Simply because of fear. All the years of mental and emotional abuse have taken its toll. She doesn’t feel like a strong woman at work. She feels more like dirt under the bottom of her employer’s shoes.
Don’t allow your employer to control your life
Stand up for yourself. Have a meeting with your boss to discuss the way they treat you. Make a list of all the things you want to talk about. Be brave and speak up or you will never be heard. Don’t suffer in silence.
See yourself as the strong woman you are. You’re beautiful, talented and worth more than a million diamonds. Every one of us brings something unique to the workplace. If you didn’t have the right skills they would not have hired you in the first place. When they interviewed you for the job, your employer thought you were a good fit for the role.
If you can’t resolve the problem with your employer, do something about it…
Maybe you’re feeling insecure about your abilities. Why not take a course to develop your existing skills or learn new ones? New knowledge and a qualification will give your confidence a boost. Or maybe think of a career change. Whatever you decide to do, make sure you do it for yourself. Take your life back and get back in control. You are in the driving seat on the journey of your life. Don’t allow someone else to take you on the wrong journey to a destination that isn’t right for you.
Don’t allow fear to keep you where you don’t want to stay
The acronym of F.E.A.R. is False Evidence Appearing Real. Fear is not physical. You can’t see it, touch it, hear it, feel it, smell it or taste it. It’s an illusion. Fear is only alive in your mind. You have the power to make it live or kill it. If you allow fear to live in your mind, it will control your life and make you a prisoner.
You’re in a job that’s robbing you of peace and happiness. You’re not progressing and you hate what you’re doing. But fear is stopping you from moving forward. My advice is to feel the fear and do it anyway. Face your fears head-on. If you’re scared of getting another job, don’t let fear stop you. Apply for the new job anyway. Take control of fear. Don’t let fear control you. The worse that can happen is that you don’t get the first job you apply for. But keep applying. The more interview experiences you get, the more your confidence will develop. The more confident you are, the better your chances will be of landing a new and better job.
“Winners don’t quit and quitters don’t win.” ~ My favourite quote. 🙂
“I always did something I was a little not ready to do. I think that’s how you grow. When there’s that moment of ‘Wow, I’m not really sure I can do this,’ and you push through those moments, that’s when you have a breakthrough.” ~ Marissa Mayer (CEO of Yahoo)
The advice I’ve given you is probably not easy to action. But, because of what I have been through, I feel qualified to tell you that you do not have to put up with a bullying boss. I lived a life of physical and emotional abuse (in my previous marriage) for many years. That’s 10 times worse than living with a bully boss. At least you can walk out of the office or wherever you work and go home.
Nevertheless, when you’re married to a man who hits you and dishes out verbal abuse, it’s not so easy to walk out. It takes determination, guts and strength. However, after years of abuse (and nearly lost my life) I decided to walk away with my baby and young child. It was a case of stay in the abuse and suffer, or walk out of it. The idea of raising my children on my own was scary. But I felt the fear and did it anyway.
So, be a strong woman, muster up the courage, make changes or a clean break (from anything that stops you from moving forward) for the sake of your health and sanity.
Have you been in a bullying work environment? How did you deal with it? Please share your thoughts.