Inspiration, Encouragement and Happiness for Strong Women

Happy Being a Single Woman and Loving it

Happy Being a Single Woman and Loving it

By in Single Life | 37 comments

  • SumoMe

Being a single woman is not a tragedy. I am a single woman and proud to be so. I know that some women don’t like being single and will do anything to be with a man. I used to be one of those women. I had to be in a relationship, whether the man was good for me or not. As long as I wasn’t single I was happy, or so I thought!

Whatever situation you find yourself in as you go through life; you have to deal with it. I didn’t choose to be a single woman. Circumstances made it that way. I can allow circumstances to dictate to me or I can choose to control those circumstances. I choose the latter.

 

No One to Play With

With everything, there is a positive and negative side. It can be lonely being single.  Walking into an empty house after a long, stressful day at work with no one to share your feelings with, can be disheartening. When you attend social events and everyone around is all loved up, it’s not nice being the odd one out.

Loneliness can hit you when you’re distressed and don’t have a man to pamper you and reassure you that everything will be OK. It’s no fun going to bed alone night after night. On those cold winters’ night, I would love to have someone to cuddle up next to.

Despite all of those things, I’ve come to the conclusion that you can be happy being single. Life is what you make it. I will be the best whether I’m a single woman or not.

 

Happy by Myself

I’m happy being a single woman. I do enjoy my company. I’m free to do what I want when I want. I’ve got a few true friends who add excitement to my life. They love me for who I am.

I can honestly say that the biggest problem in my life now is not having enough money. If I was a gold digger, I would go and find me a sugar daddy. Then again, I would only be using that man to get what I want. But I’m not a user.

 

Advantages of Being Single

Looking back over the years has made me realise that life as a single woman does have advantages.

I’ve accomplished more in my life as a single woman than when I was married. I should pat myself on the back for some of the goals I set and have achieved:

  • I raised my three daughters mostly by myself.
  • Passed my driving test.
  • Moved houses twice.
  • Decorated my houses.  
  • Connected with the local MP through voluntary work.
  • Completed a few training courses.
  • Went to university and graduated as a teacher.
  • Started this blog

Those are just some of my accomplishments.

I am complete and whole. When I meet my other half, I will compliment him instead of feed off his emotions. I value myself and know my self-worth. So, I don’t need a man to fill any voids in my life.

 

I Love Me and the Single Life

I was a very needy teenager. Whenever I wasn’t in a relationship, I felt that my life was incomplete. In the process I lost my identity. I was always somebody’s girlfriend, fiancé or wife. I forgot who I was as a person. I was too busy trying to conform to who my man at that time wanted me to be. It turned me into a sad, lost, confused woman.

I thought that I needed the love of a man to function properly. But that was because I didn’t love myself. I was insecure.  I believed their love was all I needed to turn me into the woman I should be.

Being single has given me the opportunity to truly love myself. In the process I also found myself. I know who I am and what I want from life. I am now a strong woman with values and high self-esteem.

That lost little girl has grown into an assertive, emotionally strong, mature woman. I know my strengths and weaknesses. And I’ve used them to get me to the level I’m at in my life. No man helped me get here. I did it all by myself.

Being single has been a blessing to me. It’s been interesting and exciting.

The single journey has taken me through many rugged roads, up some mountains, down some valleys and back to a river of self-discovery. I’ll sit by the calm waters and wait until the time is right for me to swim to meet my other half.

If you’re on that single journey, what’s your experiences? What have you learnt from it? How do you cope with loneliness? I would love to hear your thoughts.

Photo: June Whittle

June

About June

June Whittle is the founder of Miraculous Ladies, an author, freelance copywriter and professional blogger for hire. She works with small businesses, bloggers and individuals. She is also an author of a self-help and autobiography book “Deep Within my Soul: Hope after abuse”. Miraculous means extraordinary and Lady is a polite or formal way of referring to an amazing woman. That's you. You're a beautiful, strong, incredible, dynamic and powerful woman. Live your dreams. "If you can dream it, you can do it." ~ Walt Disney

    37 Comments

  1. I absolutley love this blog!! It’s fun, informative, and has a great pesentation. You just got yourself a regular visitor. Miraculousladies.com is officially bookmarked on my browser 🙂 it was very nice to meet you!! Single ladies unite…lol

    LMF

    12/09/2011

    • Yessssss! Thank you. Single ladies should unite. It was nice to meet you too. I’ve added your site to my favourites in Bookmarks and will visit regularly. Thanks for reading and hope to see you again soon.

      junie junie

      12/09/2011

  2. Good post this will really help me.

    Ebook PDF

    20/09/2011

    • Glad to know that. It makes it worthwhile when my articles make a difference to readers like you. Thanks for reading.

      junie junie

      21/09/2011

  3. I am so glad i’ve stumbled upon this webpage. I’m a 36 year-old single woman and i love every minute of it. However, i have to admit that sometimes it’s tough and kinda stressful going through life being single, especially when there are miserable married women around who tend to get jealous easily of your freedom and happiness.

    Casey

    26/01/2012

    • I’m glad you found my webpage as well. You’ve promped me to write a follow up article on this one. Please don’t miss it!

      It’s good to be happy with your singleness. Enjoy your freedom and happiness. Thanks for reading and leaving a comment.

      junie junie

      26/01/2012

    • I’m a lonley married woman. Had a happy first marriage for 28yrs and my spouse passed away. Thought I would have a second happy marriage and I was wrong. I feel lonley and get no cuddle in bed, so far 10 years of this. I’m happy that you are a happy single woman, yes I would trade with you.

      Betty

      04/02/2017

      • Sorry to hear you’re not happy in your marriage Betty. Some people think because you’re married you’re automatically happy. Being with someone doesn’t stop you feeling lonely. And being married doesn’t make you happy either. Happiness is a state of mind. I wrote an article about happiness. It might help you. Here is the link: http://www.miraculousladies.com/are-you-looking-for-some-happiness/

        Can I encourage you to cuddle your husband instead of waiting for him to cuddle you? Sometimes we have to make the first move.

        Thanks for sharing your thoughts. 🙂

        June June

        05/02/2017

  4. It is a relief to read your blog. Nice to know we are not alone when our friends are attached. I am getting apprehensive as each year passes.

    Joyful

    14/02/2012

    • Be happy being single. See it as a time for preparation. Live in expectation with a positive mind-set. Don’t get apprehensive because you haven’t met your partner yet. It doesn’t mean you won’t meet him.
      What you feel on the inside will show on the outside. Try to radiate happiness and you’ll be surprised how many men you’ll attract. Take ‘worry’ out of your mind and develop a carefree attitude.
      As I said in my article, I’m happy being single. I know that one day I will meet my ideal partner. It doesn’t matter how long it takes, it will happen. I’m confident about that because it’s what I want and I will get it. But for now, I’m not looking because there are things I want to do first. That is my choice.
      I would like to encourage you to stay strong, but most of all be happy and stay positive.

      junie junie

      14/02/2012

  5. I loved the honesty and transparency a lot of which is lacking nowadays. It’s very refreshing and I can’t wait to read more. x

    Beloved Hope

    03/06/2012

    • Thank you. I write from my heart because I believe that’s the best way to express yourself. Thanks for reading and commenting.

      junie junie

      04/06/2012

  6. My story is so similar. Toxic relationship-breakup-rebound- toxic relnshp. The vicious cycle continued for the past 12 years my life.
    Despite being an educated and intelligent person, I always needed a man to complete me… to do the things i dreamt of and cudnt do on my own… until recently when i decided to pursue my dreams on my own… life seems a long constant struggle and sometimes i feel like just quitting and reverting to my old life…. but….i realise after reading your blog there are lot of ppl around me.. im finally living my life truly on my terms and everyday i know im becoming a stronger person.

    Pragnya

    17/07/2012

    • I’m so glad you found this article and commented. For most of my life I lived in that vicious cycle. Deep down I was so unhappy. But on the surface I seemed happy. I masked that pain with drinking and trying to fool myself that all was well. But the truth is, I was in a deep hole. It was hard making the break from my husband at the time as my daughter was a baby. But I had to do something or I would have gone mad.

      Keep being strong. Appreciate those around you. Believe in yourself and love yourself. You are special and you must believe that. It will get better. Nothing stays the same forever.

      Please pop over to my other blog and read the article ‘Are you ready for a relationship?’ It might help you.

      The blog address is http://arisesinglechristianmummies.com

      God bless. 🙂

      junie junie

      17/07/2012

    • Hi,I read all comments and I feel better now. For years I have been looking for right man and you don’t know how much I got depressed. Now I choose to live happily. Most of my friends got married. In fact I am all alone. But I want to be a happy woman.

      Fatima

      11/10/2016

  7. I could not agree MORE!

    I was married for 10 years (all of my 20s) and then in another relationship for all of my 30s. Even though I didn’t want to be alone, I never was fully ‘in’ the relationship either – I was afraid to do it all myself!

    I have been on my own for 6 months, approaching 40, and have honestly never EVER been happier. I recently joined Match.com to see what was out there, and after only 2 weeks and 3 dates, I shut it down, realizing there is nothing missing from my life and (gasp!) I don’t even WANT to date! Talk about liberating. I love my life!!!!! Thank you thank you thank you for this post – not all (nor most, in my opinion) single women are unhappy being so!

    deanna

    17/03/2014

    • Hi Deanna, welcome to my blog.

      Isn’t it funny how loneliness and not wanting to cope by ourselves can push us into unwanted relationships? Or make us stay in relationships that are so wrong for us.

      Well done for sticking it out on your own. I’ve been happily single for 8 wonderful years. I can honestly say, I’ve never been more at peace within myself. I’ve had invitations to join Match.com but I’m not interested. I know people who’ve tried those sites and the men they’ve met have not been what they seemed. I haven’t got time for that! I’m too busy enjoying my single life. 🙂 NO STRESS!!!

      It’s great when you get to the place where you love being single. And you’re right! It is so liberating. I’m glad that you’re happily single as well. And thank you for stopping by and commenting. You’ve made my night. 🙂

      June Whittle June Whittle

      17/03/2014

      • hey June
        I’m a 21 year old student and I’ve never dated, been on a date, never asked out by a guy even! I’m single NOT by choice, while reading your post I could identify with many things. all my friends are in serious relationships and even engaged! Its really heart breaking and I wish I had the confidence and strength to continue. I’ve accepted this, in my young years I should be dating but maybe I’m undesirable.
        Thank you for your post- I’m still trying to continue my quest to become a happy single
        many thanks Ella

        Ella

        19/09/2014

        • Hi Ella,

          Thanks for stopping by. It’s good to hear from you.

          First of all please don’t condemn yourself. I’m sure you’re not undesirable so don’t ever think that of yourself. Just because you haven’t been on a date doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you. It doesn’t take a man to make you feel good about yourself. You are beautiful, just as you are.

          I had a ‘didn’t love myself’ issue for many years. And I thought that having relationships would make my life complete and make me happy. I was so wrong. All that did was cause heartaches and pain. If I could live my life again, I wouldn’t rush into any relationships. I’ve got a story to tell and I need to share it with other women. So, I’m writing a book about one of my failed marriages. That period of my life was like a living nightmare.

          Please enjoy your single life. One day when you’ll meet the right man for you, someone who will love and value you. You’ll look back on this experience and laugh. I said experience because I think being single is a wonderful experience. Enjoy it Ella. 🙂 It’s better than being in a relationship with the wrong man. I should know. I’ve done it.

          Have a fantastic weekend Ella. 🙂

          June June

          19/09/2014

      • I broke up with my bf a month ago. Since then I was asked by 7 different man to go out with them whether its just getting to know each other or a real date. Dating right now doesn’t interest me. I am determined to be happy and single.I do miss a company and gets lonely sometimes having nobody to go out for dinner or a movie. With my past relationship we did a lot of things but during that moment I got disconnected from my friends, now I starts hanging around with them again.

        I have no problem meeting a man and it takes a lot of strength for me not to say no to somebody when I feel alone.

        I’m excited with being single and I have a lot of things in mind that I will do being free and not committed to anybody. I know I can be happy being single for a long time because I have a lot of interest and hobbies that I would like to continue on doing like travel, play golf, marathon, going out dancing with friend, spending time with my 2 teenagers working out etc. Who needs a man when I really have no time for him.

        Dinah

        15/10/2014

        • Hi Dinah,

          Wow! I love your story. It’s great being single and happy, isn’t it? I’m glad I found someone else who can identify with what I’m going through.

          When a woman accepts the fact she is single and enjoy it, life takes on a new meaning. I know what you mean about having the freedom to do the things you enjoy. And I guess it’s tough having to say no to men who wants a date. Good for you for being so strong.

          Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I appreciate it. Have a lovely day. 🙂

          June June

          15/10/2014

  8. Thank you for your blog, June. I have been married three times and with a man almost continuously since I was 15. Somehow I thought I had to be with a man in order to be a whole person. Going through my second divorce (my second husband died) I initially feel I must couple-up, but I realize this is not true. Being single leaves me with a sense of fear and dread right now, but I am working on my new mindset. Yesterday, I planned out my next year — goals I would like to achieve each month from now until next October. I filled areas of health, career, friends, fun, kids, house projects, etc…. and found that I am now actually looking forward to the next year. I think people feel empty when their future looks so open and empty. Well, I just filled mine with activity and healthy goals.

    The comfort of being coupled is that we can rely on our partner to fill our lives, set our goals, and weekend activities. I was always willing to give up what I wanted just so I could be with a man. Of course, this always turned to resentment. I won’t do that again. I am going to give myself at least a year to get serious about anyone. I have been coupled way too long, 3/4 of my life, and I am ready to be productively selfish with my time, energy and emotions.

    We’ll see how it goes. I suggest the yearly plan for anyone who is feeling alone an empty. It helps the time not seem so vast. Also, check out the book “A selfish guide to romance”. It is about being in a couple, but it also discusses work you can do on yourself so that you are ready when you do meet someone.

    I also bought about 6 books from Amazon on the love of being single. Most of them cost about 10 cents, so it is worth the cost!

    Thanks, Junie.

    Jen Breen

    21/10/2014

    • Hi Jen,

      Thanks for reading my article and leaving a comment.

      I love what you had to say. It’s really inspiring and so true. I was similar to you. It seems we have a lot in common. And my second husband died as well.

      For most of my life I was in relationships, even when they were wrong for me. I couldn’t stand to be on my own. I realise now that I was insecure and didn’t love myself. I was looking for love when all I had to do was look at myself instead of men.

      I enjoyed your comment so much that I’m going to write an article with the tips you gave for other single ladies. It’s a wonderful idea to plan your year ahead. It gives you something to work towards. And achieving goals is a wonderful feeling. I’m going to check out the book ‘A Selfish Guide to Romance’ and do you have the names of the other books? I would like to read them and share tips with my readers. I love inspiring other single ladies.

      Thanks for subscribing to this blog. I hope you will enjoy what I have to share. Always feel free to give me any ideas you would like me to write about.

      Have a great evening. 🙂

      June June

      22/10/2014

      • Hi Junie – thank you for your note and support. I am glad it was helpful. I can’t tell you how much better I felt after I did my year plan…. we all know how fast time goes, and a year can really fly when you look back on it, especially if you fill it with great personal and professional goals!

        Other books are easy to find…just google “being single and loving it” or “single women’s guide”…. and tons of books pop up through Amazon. I just ordered them yesterday and will let you know which ones I find the most helpful.

        Do you have a group of single ladies that meets up periodically? I am thinking one thing I need is a way to find friends to hang out with; I don’t know if my town has this, but I suppose I could create one if they don’t! Another goal, I guess!

        Jen

        Jennifer moss breen

        22/10/2014

        • Hi Jennifer,

          You’re right, the years are flying by quickly. And having a plan will make it more enjoyable and rewarding, because first there’s something to look forward to, and second achieving goals is a wonderful feeling.

          I’ll check out Amazon for some of those single books.

          No, I don’t have a group for single women to meet up. But it’s a great idea. What town do you live in? I think I will put one together, because like you said, it’s a fantastic way to meet up and socialise. And yes, it’s another good goal.

          Thanks for stopping by again and for the ideas. Have a good evening. 🙂

          June June

          23/10/2014

        • Hi Junie – I live in Omaha, Nebraska, USA. I wonder what is the best way to start a group? I bet facebook could work. How are you going to start yours?

          jen breen

          24/10/2014

        • Hi Jen,

          Ok, you’re in America. I’m in the UK but you probably already know that.

          The best way for you would probably be Facebook. Start a group there and then suggest a meet-up group to see people’s reaction. If they like the idea, take it from there. It’s a great idea and it will benefit single women who need to socialise. Sometimes it good to have company, somebody to talk to, you know. A lot of women are lonely.

          Have a great weekend.

          June June

          25/10/2014

  9. hi June 😀
    I’m just 17 and I’ve never dated anyone its because i’m scared about having to face problems in my life 😀 but all your comments here was so inspiring and because all of you are very brave women i have visited sites like these because i believe that it doesn’t take a man for you to be happy i love this blog it just make me realize that every girl doesn’t take a man to be complete furthermore I realized that every girl is special and can achieve more without having a man in their life.. thankss for the blog really appreciated it 😀 all of you are very inspiring!! 😀

    monica

    18/01/2015

    • Hi Monica,

      Thank you for reading my blog and for sharing your thoughts. I really appreciate it. 🙂

      You are still so young and there’s no need to rush into a relationship. But don’t be scared about facing problems in life. Unfortunately life comes with problems. But if you learn how to deal with problems and learn from them, it will make you stronger.

      And you are right, it doesn’t take a man to make you happy. Happiness comes from within. I used to look for happiness from men but it didn’t work. It made me sad instead and caused lots of heartaches. So, to be happy you need to love yourself and do things that will give you fulfillment and joy.

      You can achieve whatever you want if you focus, set goals and work towards achieving them. You don’t need a man to achieve your goals. I personally achieved more when I was single because I didn’t have any distractions. But if you’ve got a supportive man, you can still achieve your goals.

      Thanks for your kind words. You’re inspiring too, because I started this blog for women like you. It makes to happy to know that you’re finding it useful. Thank you. 🙂

      June June

      19/01/2015

  10. You have inspired me alot a mother of one having gone through several heartbreaks..don’t need a man to be happy

    elvine

    22/10/2016

    • Thanks for sharing your thoughts Elvine. If you can be happy as a single woman/mother, you’ll be content with your life. Happiness comes from inside of you. No man can make you happy. You can live a good life together by sharing genuine love, respect, understanding and all the other things that contribute to a healthy relationship.

      However, finding out who you are as a single woman and accepting where you’re at is really rewarding. Use this time to be the person you were created to be.

      Thanks for stopping by. 🙂

      June June

      26/10/2016

  11. Amazing article, thank you so much for writing this. Sometimes I feel like an anomoly but then I remember there has to be others just like me 🙂

    I just wrote something similiar on how happy I am being single and that while there may be deep seated issues on why I am single, it doesn’t matter because I am happy.

    http://www.thepersistentpassport.com/choosing-single-life-loving/

    Anita

    09/11/2016

    • Yes, Anita, there are many of us single ladies out there. I hope there are lots of happy ones as well.

      I’ve added many more years to my singleness since I wrote that post. I’m still happy and still discovering who I am. It’s great to be independent and live alone. However, I must admit, there are times when the loneliness kicks in and I desire to have someone share my life. But not all my days are like that.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. Enjoy the weekend. 🙂

      June June

      11/11/2016

  12. This was a interesting read. Thank you for sharing. I was googling why its good being single and your blog came up. I use to always do things to impress men so that I can be in a relationship. Not anymore. Being single as given me time to really do the things I love with my child and do things that truly make me happy. When I was in a relationship with guys, I felt that I always had to look picture perfect and was always comparing myself to other women. And theb I had to deal with making time for them. It would nice to meet a guy that would like to cater to me versus the other way around. I find that Im always the one paying for dates and giving a money that I dont really have to give. Im done with that.

    Leyah

    26/12/2016

    • I can really relate to what you’ve said. When you impress men you’re not being yourself. Over the years I discovered it’s best to be you, no matter what. If a man genuinely likes you, he will appreciate you for who you are and not what you’ve got. This will separate the genuine ones from the fake ones. Like you, I used to give them money as well because I believed it was my duty to do so.

      Also, in terms of looks, the right man will love you regardless of how you look – with or without makeup. I used to be like that. But when I meet the next man to start a relationship with, he will have to take me for who I am. I’m not going to pretend to be somebody I’m not. Those days are gone.

      Keep doing what you’re doing. The right man will come and he will love you for you, not for who he wants you to be. There are good guys out there so don’t settle for less than what you deserve.

      Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts. I hope to hear from you again. Enjoy the week. 🙂

      June June

      27/12/2016

  13. I am a 38 year old single mother of a preschooler. I am in the process of learning to be content in this space. I have had many, many failed attempts at love and I feel that there needs to be a recognition within myself that life as a single woman can be okay too. And when I say that there is a release and peace, so I feel that is the journey it is time to take. I think I will still have male attention but the ideal of marriage just seems like something that isn’t for me. I wish there were more people discussing being single from that perspective. Not in waiting, but as a perfectly suitable lifestyle in and of itself.

    This article was a great starting place and reminded me of the mindset I need to get back to. Thank you for sharing your thoughts!

    Angel

    22/01/2017

    • Hi Angel,

      I totally understand where you’re coming from. I’ve been single for 11 years. I feel happy, free and in a good place. Being single has been good for me. It gave me the ability to get to know the real me and to enjoy being in my own company. I used to be dependent on men and it wasn’t good for me. Because of that dependency, I ended up jumping from one dysfunctional relationship to another looking for love. But I was looking in the wrong place.

      I won’t say any more about this as I’m going to be writing an article about it. You inspired me to write it because lots of single women out there need to hear it. They think being single is something terrible. But it’s a time to embrace their singleness.

      Thanks for leaving a comment. It was good to hear from you and I hope you come back often.

      Enjoy the week. 🙂

      June June

      23/01/2017

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