7 Ways to Kick Start Low Self-Esteem Into Gear
Low self-esteem doesn’t care if you’re beautiful, rich, poor, have a fantastic job or a thriving business. Maybe you’re all that and more. Yet, you see yourself as rubbish or not good enough.
Because you lack self-worth. And your self-esteem is so, so low.
Self esteem starts when you’re young. It’s shaped by the way your parents and others close to you, treated you. Your brothers, sisters, peers and teachers all play their part. Then you grow up and start relationships. Your spouse can also damage on your self-esteem. Especially if you lived through any kind of abuse with them.
There’s something else to consider as well. While getting up, as girls, your purpose was to look pretty, be nice and please others. Whether you liked it or not, that was expected from you. And if you managed to pass into this preordained category, you did good. And made everyone happy.
But what if you didn’t do what was expected?
That’s generally where the problem starts. They see you as being different. You weren’t like the other ‘so called’ normal girls.
Later on in life, as a woman, you are expected to keep your relationships working in harmony. Maybe that even means sacrificing your desires, to keep relationships working. This could harm your self-esteem.
Self-esteem comes with a high cost. Unless you understand your self-worth, you can easily neglect yourself. When that happens, negative, self-destructive habits take control of your brain. Daily life becomes a constant struggle. You may look for consolation in alcohol, drugs or be drawn to relationships with people who ill-treat you.
Thankfully it’s not all doom and gloom. You can work on your self-esteem and improve your lifestyle.
Here is what you need to do:
1. Treat yourself like a queen
Don’t feel guilty about looking after yourself. It’s not a selfish act. Treating yourself good is telling yourself you are worthwhile. Whatever makes you feel good, do it. You will feel ten times better. Start this straight away. It could be something as simple as getting your eyebrows or nails done. Or buying yourself a new outfit, handbag or pair of shoes.
2. Start working out regularly
What’s better than doing something that’s good for the body and soul? Plus also has physiological benefits. Exercising releases serotonin – natural feel-good stuff – from the brain. On op of that, you will experience more vitality, enthusiasm and feel great.
3. Declare positive affirmations
You are, after all, what you think. I love this passage from the bible. “Be careful what you think. Your life is shaped by your thoughts.” Proverbs 4:23 If you tell yourself negative things like, “I will never get a good job. I always attract the wrong man. I don’t like my body, or I look awful”, you’re actually feeding low self-worth.
Rather, feed your confidence by declaring positive affirmations. I’m certain you wouldn’t say soul-destroying things to your best friend. Tell yourself, “I’m beautiful. I will succeed. Job well done. I just love being me. Today will be a good day.”
4. Go all-out for self-development
If there are any parts of your personality or lifestyle you’re not happy with, do something about it. Speak to a life coach, go to college, take up a new hobby, change careers or make new friends. Do whatever it takes to help you improve your quality of life.
5. Take some baby steps
Changing your life is not something you can do all at once. When I wanted to teach, first I went to college to do a short course. Next, I went to university, studied hard and qualified to become a teacher. So, if there’s a subject you’re interested in, start by setting goals. Write down the steps you need to consider to take it farther. For example, get a prospectus from the college, go for an interview and enroll, attend classes, study and take your assessment or exam.
6. Pat yourself on the back for doing well
When you set small goals and take steps to achieve them, you’ll see results. Make the goals manageable and reward yourself every time you see success. It will boost your self-esteem and build confidence. Be careful not to set big, unreasonable goals. If you do and you fail, you’ll knock down your self-worth.
7. Make every effort to be independent
One of my greatest achievements was giving up teaching to become a copywriter. I did it all by myself, too. I had to do a few courses to develop my skills. But I didn’t have to depend on anyone else for anything. Fending for yourself is a great self-esteem booster. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t turn to friends for emotional or moral support. Also, if you need training to develop new skills, get training. The important thing is to aim for independence.
So, although your self-esteem is low, you can kick start it into gear. Fire up your imagination about living a better life. You can do it. I know you can do it.
Over to you…
Do you have low self-esteem? What have you done to develop your self-worth? Please share your thoughts with us in the comment box below.
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